WHERE DID THE TIME GO? WHERE? MY COLLGE APPLICATIONS ARE DUE IN LIKE...THREE FUCKING WEEKS DDDD8

i'm so not going to get accepted into college. XC
my grades suck

IN HAPPIER NEWS =D
i bought a really cute skirt today at charlotte russe :) and i ran into an old friend.

OH. AND. ANDANDAND. I GOT QUIDDITCH GOGGLES FOR CHRISTMAS. BEST. CHRISTMAS. GIFT. EVERRRRR. THANK YOU WONDAH TWINSIES <3

(OH yeah. AmericaxEngland sexy times in muh icon =DD Hetalia ftw!)

Fuck you mom. Direct quote: "You might as well not even apply to college since you won't get in." yeah? screw you. you didn't even go to college till you were a middle aged woman so i doubt you're the best person to be giving advice on this shit.

Aside from that! New icon! LOOOK!! It's Jackie Earle Haley!

HAI GUYS. This is a oneshot for my friends Becca and Mikky. It's KioxYayoi and YAYZ. My first loveless fic. Let me know what you think please, I'm worried about having kept it in character. I feel like it's terribly OOC. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and sorry if the ending was a bit rushed.

Title: Two First Kisses

Author: we’ve all got our junk

Fandom: Loveless

Pairing: KioxYayoi

Summary: Yuiko finally finds a boy she likes and Yayoi is the distraught witness of her first kiss.

Words: 1,673

He knew he shouldn’t be doing this. It was wrong to spy on your friends but he couldn’t help but be curious when he saw Yuiko with a boy from the eighth grade. And it wasn’t his fault the air outside was too humid for his asthma to handle. Or so he was telling himself.

He watched as the slightly older boy shyly took her hand and she smiled up at him. His cheeks flushed angrily as Yuiko laughed at something he said, but the boy’s face grew serious and he said something. So far, Yayoi had not been close enough to hear anything they said, but the question was obvious when he heard Yuiko’s squeal of “Yes!” and saw her smile grow impossibly wide, her head nodding energetically.

Yayoi’s face fell from anger to sadness. His eyes welled up with tears as the boy leaned down and placed a small kiss on Yuiko’s waiting lips. Yayoi wanted to leave, but it was as if his feet were gluded to the floor. That boy was taller than her. A whole head taller than her. He had to lean down to touch his lips to hers. Unlike himself, who would have to stand on his tip toes to do so. And the boy was built. He certainly had no health problems. Unlike himself. Yayoi was shaking in place, but he froze when he saw the two clasp hands and begin to walk towards him.

The boy was good looking. Yayoi recognized him as Akihiro Ryuu. The star baseball player at their school. How did they even meet? Yuiko never hung out with anyone but himself and Aoyagi-kun. But he didn’t have much time to think about it, because Yuiko had seen him before he even had a chance to try and wipe away the tears that were still coming.

“Yayoi-kun?” she said. “Are you alright?”

But Yayoi couldn’t answer her. He managed to pry his feet off the floor and turned around and ran off in the opposite direction.

“Yayoi-kun!” she shouted. “Wait! Please!”

Yayoi could practically hear the tears welling up in her eyes, but he couldn’t face her.

‘Soubi-san!’ he thought. ‘Soubi-san will know what to do.’ School was long over, so he wouldn’t be outside waiting for Ritsuka, but Yayoi had been to his apartment before. He needed to see him. He didn’t know who else to talk to.

So he ran. The apartment wasn’t far away, but when he reached the building, he was out of breath and on the verge of an asthma attack. He dug his inhaler out of his pockets and began to use it, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. He could feel the dried tears on his face and he was embarrassed, but Soubi buzzed him up and he opened the door to the building.

Upon entering the building, he was grateful to find an elevator. He pressed the up button and remembered the first time he had been to Soubi-san’s apartment, and Yuiko and Ritsuka insisted they climb al 13 flights of stairs, and the whole while he had been mentally cursing Soubi for living so high up.

The elevator door opened and he entered, lugging his bag behind him. He pressed the button and felt himself being lifted. The door opened again, and he stepped out into the hallway, looking to see which direction to go to for Soubi’s place. He took a right and walked on till he stood in front of the door.

He took a few deep breaths, and knocked.

---

Kio had been finishing up his art project when the intercom buzzed, indicating that someone was trying to get up. Sighing, assuming that Soubi had forgotten his key again, he buzzed him up, and went back to his painting, rolling a lollipop around in his mouth as he did so. He made some more progress, not that there was much more to be made, as it was basically finished and then there was a knock on the door.

Kio dropped the paintbrush unceremoniously into the cup of water and crossed the room to the door. He opened it, but Soubi wasn’t there. He looked down, to see that blue haired kid that was a friend of Ritsuka’s. He sighed. “Your friend isn’t here, kid.” But upon closer inspection, he saw the kid’s tear streaked face and felt bad for his gruff attitude.

“Umm. I’m sorry. Is Soubi-san here?” the kid asked, ducking his head in an embarrassed fashion. “I’m Yayoi.” He added, and Kio silently thanked him, because for the life of him he could not figure out his name.

“No, sorry. He and Ritsuka left here about half an hour ago. I do not want to know what they’re up to now.” he shuddered. ‘Stupid pervert. He could have me and he goes for a freaking twelve year old.’

“Oh…” he said and his ears seemed to flatten against his head.

“Is there…something you needed?” Kio asked.

“No…it’s nothing.”

“Well, it’s clearly not nothing. I’m no Soubi, but do you want to talk to me about it?” Kio offered, stepping aside to allow Yayoi entrance to the apartment.

“I guess.” he said quietly, shyly stepping into the room.

“Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink?”

“Water, please?”

“Coming right up, Kio said with a smile, and walked into the little kitchenette in the apartment, and poured Yayoi a glass of water. When he came back, he found Yayoi staring at his painting in shock. “What’s so special?” Kio asked. It certainly wasn’t his best work and it was nowhere near on par with Soubi’s stuff. He was always sort of surprised when people noticed his artwork.

“What do you mean?” Yayoi asked incredulously. “This is beautiful.”

“Thanks.” Kio said, unsure of what to say. He was kind of awkward when it came to compliments, especially ones that sounded as sincere as Yayoi’s. “Here you go.” he said, handing Yayoi the glass of water. He led Yayoi to the couch and the two of them sat down.

“Thank you.” Yayoi said.

“What’s bothering you?” Kio asked, sincerely concerned.

“It’s about Yuiko.” Yayoi mumbled.

“What?” Kio asked, and then he remembered that tall pink haired girl. “Oh…” he said, and recalled the day when Soubi had dragged him along to stalk Ritsuka. He had been watching Yayoi a bit and saw how he stared after the girl and how hurt he had looked every time she bounded to Ritsuka whenever Yayoi came near.

“She got a boyfriend…”

“Oh…” Kio said. “I’m sorry.” He said, not knowing what he was supposed to say.

“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it.”

“What do you want?”

“What?”

“What do you want?” Kio repeated. “Forget about Yuiko, and forget about that guy. What do you want?” he asked.

This question confused Yayoi. Shouldn’t the answer be obvious? “Well…” he started, “I…I guess I want to be loved. I want Yuiko to—”

“And we have our answer.” Kio said with a smile. “And unfortunately, that is one of the worst thing a person like us could ask for.”

Yayoi looked at Kio with a curious look on his face. “People like us.”

“Yes, people like us. I am in your situation Yayoi. I have loved Sou-chan since I met him, but the only thing he liked about me is my tattoo. I have had to watch him as Seimei abused him and as Ritsuka rejected him time and time again, and I have had to help him when he wants to get closer to them, and I have never been able to say a word.”

“Soubi-san? And…and Ritsuka’s older brother?” Yayoi asked, stumbling over his words.

“Yes. I think that’s one of the things that pulls Ritsuka toward Soubi. He knew his brother. He knew things about his brother that Ritsuka himself didn’t know. But this is what we are destined for Yayoi-kun. As long as we love them, this will be our life. And I will always love Soubi. And I’m sorry you’ve had to learn this lesson at such a young age.” Kio finished, looking down at the boy that sat next to him, staring into his lap. “Yayoi-kun…” Kio sighed sympathetically, placing his left hand over Yayoi’s smaller right hand, in a soothing gesture.

Then the next moment, Yayoi was looking up at him, face still faintly streaked with tears, and Kio didn’t know what possessed the younger boy to do it, but suddenly he saw Yayoi’s face leaning closer to his. Kio felt soft pink lips brushing against his, and then of their own accord, his hands were grasping the back of Yayoi’s head and neck, crushing the lovely two-toned hair against the young boy’s back.

Then he realized what he was doing. ‘Oh Kami. Pedophile pedophile pedophile pedophile! You’re being a pedophile!’ his inner voice was yelling at him, and he tugged himself away from Yayoi, who immediately hung his head, an embarrassed blush crossing his face.

“I’m…I’m sorry.” Yayoi said. “I…I just wanted to know how it felt to kiss someone. Especially someone that you…that you like. I love Yuiko and I think always will, but I like you. And I know you love Soubi but—”

And in that moment, Kio mentally bitch slapped his inner voice and pressed his lips to Yayoi’s again, biting Yayoi’s lower lip and the small preteen gasped. Kio took the opportunity to slide his tongue into Yayoi’s mouth and ran his tongue across the roof of Yayoi’s mouth. ‘This must be what Sou-chan feels like…’ he thought. ‘He’s rubbing off on you!’ the inner voice said, but Kio ignored it, and then pulled away again, smirking at the little cat-like whine that came from Yayoi.

“You wanted to know what it felt like. I thought I’d give you a better example.” Kio said.

Yayoi laughed at this and opened his mouth to speak, but Kio interrupted him.

“And I like you too Yayoi.”

dear  friend (enemy)

i miss you and (never want to see you again) wish you were here. i love (hate) the way you smile at me (pretend i don’t exist).  i love it  when you (stomp on my feelings) act like i’m the most important person in the world and i want to smile all the way to my ears (cry until i dehydrate) when you hug (squeeze the life out of) me.

love (go die),

me